A major part of my work is spending time with grieving families; parent’s grieving children, children grieving parents, and wives grieving husbands. It is the most humbling experience in my life to be invited into that sacred place of sadness, pain and memory. There is nothing that compares to hearing a mother tell me of her son – of the son she gave birth to, loved and cared for – who at the age of 19 chose to take his own life.

When I first get a call to respond to clients like this I remind myself of some simple truths. I cannot bring their loved ones back; no matter how good my counselling skills are or how sensitive I am to their needs – I can’t take their pain away. However, I can share it with them, and by sharing their pain I assist them in being able to bear it. The other thing I remind myself is that I do not have to speak to be caring. Too often in traumatic situations like suicide support workers find themselves babbling and spouting clichés. It is a skill to know when talking isn’t needed – and it’s an important one in the line of work I am in.

The space that we enter into with clients is delicate and sacred. Keeping this in mind then – consider that Living Beyond Suicide is a volunteer driven program. I recruit, train and manage around 40 volunteers across the state to do this work. When I first started as a manager of volunteers for Anglicare three years ago I was a little daunted with the task.

If you have ever managed staff you will know how difficult it is, you just have to ask my manager to know exactly what I mean – that’s Gerri Alver by the way. I’ve heard it said that managing volunteers is harder still, and while I don’t necessarily agree – at least staff are somewhat motivated to do what you ask by the pay check they receive at the end of the fortnight. Although, that too, only goes so far.

Over the years at Living Beyond Suicide I’ve often asked myself how I can motivate volunteers, encourage them to learn the skills they need, convince them to come to meetings, fill out case reports etc. I cannot sit in my office like a General, delegate tasks via email and expect that to be enough to make them do excellent work, to be compassionate or to be sensitive to families who are grieving and in so much pain.

I have to be a different kind of leader.

I have to be engaged. I have to know about their family, the names of their children, and I need to ask after them. I need to know their birthdays and I need to recognise their achievements. Connecting in this way is a powerful motivator. If I care about them, if I treat them with respect, they are inspired to care and respect our clients. If they feel valued, they will feel like they belong and be energised to excel. When your staff or volunteers feel like they belong and have a valued place in your organization; just watch at how much they can achieve and how loyal they become.

I also have to lead by example. How can I expect volunteers to be compassionate and sensitive if I don’t show them how? The first experience volunteers have in working with clients is alongside myself or my colleague Terella. They observe how we work – and that gives them the example to base their own work on.

There are many other qualities that I think are important in my role as a volunteer manager – in being a leader. But one of the most significant questions I ask myself – which perhaps sums up a lot of what I believe a leader is about is this: ‘why do I even want to be one?”

If my answer is for a larger pay check, for status or significance – then I have failed before I’ve begun. That is not someone volunteers or staff can respect, and if those you are leading don’t respect you – well, the bottom line is – they will not give you their best – they won’t take stock of what you tell them.

The apostle John talks about a certain event in the ministry of Jesus. It is just before Jesus was taken to be crucified – He took off his outer clothing John says and began to wash his disciple’s feet. If you believe like I do that Jesus is an example of a great leader – what do we take away from this?

Now, some of you may struggle with the concept of washing the feet of your staff, and if Gerri my manager put on her swimmers and came into the office with a bucket and a towel I might think the Martians were attacking. But the point of this is the attitude. I am lucky to have an excellent manager who invests in her staff, is interested in our welfare, and spends time with us through the good and the bad. Because of this, I strive to do my best for her and for my team – I try to do more than my job description demands.

I translate all this into my role as a volunteer manager. I must not sit in an ivory tower, delegate and send emails and expect our clients to be supported well. I need to be a different kind of leader – one who is prepared to figuratively wash feet.

Thankyou